1.  Acknowledge the conflict and/or tension.

The first step is to say or do something to acknowledge the tension in the room rather than trying to carry on while ignoring the conflict. For some of us, the desire to say exactly the right thing gets in our way of saying anything at all. So, strive to be authentically present, not perfect. Possible ways to acknowledge:

• • Name the emotion(s) you are feeling or noticing.
    • E.g., "It feels like there's a lot of tension in the room right now. Let's take a minute and think about where that's coming from."
  • Recognize that the issue is sensitive and may be challenging to talk about.
    • E.g., "This issue seems to be charged for many of us, so let's stay mindful of how hard it can be to share honestly and really listen to each other."

2.  Discern how much to engage the conflict (or not), and when.

A felt conflict should generally be acknowledged (at least briefly) in the moment, but it may or may not be wise to try to engage the conflict more fully right away. The second step requires discerning whether the conflict merits further discussion with the whole class, and if so, whether that should be now or later. If it merits further discussion with just some of the students present, discern whether it's urgent to take a break and do that now, or whether you can follow up with those individuals later.

Questions to aid in this discernment:

• • How relevant is this issue to the purpose and topic of the class session? To overall course learning outcomes?
  • How much time remains in the class period?
  • What emotional state am I and others in right now? What do we each need for our well-being and safety? Are we in a space where we'll be able to dialogue fruitfully with each other?
  • Do I (already) have the knowledge or expertise I need to facilitate this discussion well?

3.  De-escalate the tension.

A third crucial step is to de-escalate the tension—in essence, to slow down the pace of the conversation and lower the emotional temperature, so that everyone present can be more mindful and less knee-jerk reactive in interactions. Note that de-escalating does not mean invalidating strongly felt emotions. On the contrary, it may help us to hold space for emotions and better listen to what they're telling us. De-escalating also opens more space for empathy, curiosity, active listening, and thoughtful speaking.

Possible de-escalation strategies:

• • Pause the conversation to "cool down" before returning to discussion (or moving on to next topic).
    • Call a 5–10 minute break.
    • As a group, take a moment for a mindfulness exercise or deep breathing.
    • Invite students to journal/write reflectively for a few moments.
  • Reflect back what you've heard said and check on speaker's intent. Ask clarifying questions. Avoid reiterating an inflammatory comment—but do try to listen for what may be the underlying concern or anxiety.
    • E.g., "It sounds like you're frustrated with how the decision got made and feel you had no chance to give input. Am I hearing that right?"
  • Invite critical curiosity in ourselves and in others. "I'm wondering..." or "I'm curious..." may be helpful opening phrases (though only if we're truly open to hearing the response).
    • E.g., "That's a different perspective from what we just heard, and I'm wondering how you've come to see it that way."
  • Draw attention to behaviors you're seeing and hearing that may be contributing to heightened tension. Keep this general, without putting individuals on the spot.
    • E.g., "Let me share a process observation. I notice we've been interrupting each other more in the last several minutes..."
  • Shift to a more structured facilitation process to facilitate turns for speaking and equalize access to "airtime." Usually, the higher the structure, the slower the pace.
    • E.g., Passing a talking piece around the circle. Each student has the opportunity to speak or to pass, and each knows when it's their turn. Only one person (whoever holds the talking piece) should speak at a time.

These recommendations were written by Dr. Sarah Macdonald. If you have questions, please contact her at macdonal@uwm.edu.